Flower Power

Now I wouldn't want you to think I'm turning into a big wuss but we spent the last two days of last week learning "floral artistry" (flower arranging to you) and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Apparently it's often the case that the male of the species is more artistic in this section of the course than the female, and if you want my opinion, this was again the case. The two days were taken by the rather severe lady for whom I removed my trousers on first meeting her a few weeks ago. In turns out she's called Jackie. She is the most un-Jackie like person I've ever met, although to be fair she is quite nice and not nearly as domineering as I'm portraying her. She also has an inner calm, presumably gained from many happy years spent sticking the odd flower into a sponge every few minutes, and this osmotically transmitted itself to the class. Its definitely the quietest and most contemplative two days we've had so far.

I proudly transported my creations home to Sheffield on Friday night, and they were met with a mixture of greater than expected enthusiasm (from Margaret) and a slight sneer (from Simon). Poppy the kitten gave her vote by leaping on top of the best display (which was sitting on top of the piano) and completely demolishing it onto the floor. Her excuse that she is currently wearing a big plastic ear trumpet thingy having just had her little op was in no way acceptable - you just can't come between a man and his bouquet like that.

Earlier in the week we'd done some rather unauthentic Indian food, which was a bit of a waste of time, although with very tasty results. We do have some proper Indian cookery later in the course, taught by Indians, which I am looking forward to. As it was, I was able to put Lizzie straight on a couple of points, which isn't really why I'm here.

We also covered dessert canapes (apparently these are used to subtly tell your guests its time to bugger off home) and mini puddings in general. The fruity things are basically a pastry case filled with custard (or créme Anglais as I now have to call it) and a couple of bits of fruit. The lovely shiny glaze is simply a bit of jam melted down and brushed over - ah, the tricks of the trade!