Cheese Man Ali

I've never met Cheese Man Ali, but he is rapidly becoming a significant part of my life. All I know about him is he is young, has "Big Hair" (whatever that is, who am I to ask), smokes, is Scottish, and usually wears a white hat. I presume he is moderately handsome, because new flatmate Sophie is lusting after him, and naturally requires the advice of an older and more experienced head on how to progress things.

Photo above: the cookery school, in the grounds of the estate. The kitchens are upstairs, downstairs to the right is the function room, and to the left part of the livery stables which occupies the rest of the block.

As far as I know Cheese Man Ali is at present completely unaware of what is about to hit him.

In the early days of their relationship, i.e. last week, things seemed to be going quite well, with C.M.A telling Sophie about a good club that he goes to. Spookily, this is called the Bongo Club, but as far as I know this is complete coincidence. So Sophie and Kylie (yes really) trundled off there one night, but were refused entry because they didn't have their IDs with them. Undeterred, Sophie then applied for a job in said cheese shop (albeit possibly a separate branch), which she landed. However, the sticking point came when she turned up for her interview for the position, and walked past Cheese Man Ali having a fag outside without recognising him! This was apparently because he had removed his hat to reveal the Big Hair, which obviously sprang into the stratosphere quicker than a hot pan full of rice noodles.

So Frank, did he recognise me? If he did, why didn't he say something? Was he waiting for me to say something? What does he think of me now? How am I going to get out of this awful situation? Frank?

I have provided a bit of fatherly advice. Watch this space.

Photo left: the big house on Newliston estate

Meanwhile my other new flatmate Kylie has also landed a job, at the local Scotmid, as Chief Breadmaker. Scotmid is the name for the local Coop, and there is one on every corner throughout the city, which is a much better way of shopping than having giant Tescos and their car parks plonked everywhere. Today was her first day. The job involves removing the pre-prepared dough from the freezer and sticking it in the oven, and this has to be mastered by the time the current chief breadmaker leaves in 3 days time. I'm sure she'll be fine, although it is a bit of a change from her previous career...