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Here's a few things I have discovered about Edinburgh in my first few days:
Today was First Aid training day, and I'm glad to say we all passed the stringent test, set by our ex-RAF, ramrod straight, shiny shoed tutor, Vince, wearing a pale pink shirt (too pale, in my view). To be fair, Vince was very engaging and amusing, and kept us wide awake all day (a feat in itself). To break things up, he regularly asked us whether we had personally suffered any of the many conditions he was describing: broken arms, pencils in eyes, dislocated shoulders, heart attacks. The best response to this question came from (naturally) Alex, who I introduced in the last blog. Here he is describing the time he fell and hurt himself. "Yeah, I was climbing a tree and fell out, and sort of, I should have been taken to hospital, but somehow I ended up in a Chinese massage parlour". This had everyone falling about laughing so much (you had to be there), that Lizzie, the course tutor, had to leave the room for several minutes to calm down. For the record, at this point 3 people also suffered cracked ribs with laughing, 2 were taken to hospital after over-dabbing their eyes, and 4 choked to death.
Stephan is from the Czech Republic, and supports Slavia Prague ("Slavia Prague iss crep", Czech fuutball iss crep" he says). He, unlike most of us, has some professional cheffing experience, albeit in a chain restaurant in Manchester ("Manchester iss crep"). He is here at the school to learn to cook properly. At the moment he can cook FAST. He had his leeks chopped faster than I could say Gordon F Ramsey. He must learn to slow down and put quality first, he says. I deeply insulted him by suggesting we might be able to watch the odd match together, and asked him if he liked beer. He gave me a a look of distain. "Off course I like beer, I am from Czech Republic. We haff best beer in vorld!" he shrugged. Nuff said.
1. There are more English people than Scots people in Edinburgh
2. There are more Japanese/Chinese in Edinburgh than Scots and English put together
3. There are exactly the same number of cameras as Japanese/Chinese people
4. All hot taps have to run for at least 10 minutes before a trace of warmth appears
5. All taps are designed so that nothing happens for the first 3 turns, then the water suddenly gushes out at full force
6. Any beer containing the word "heavy" or "shilling" is an artificial luminous red colour
2. There are more Japanese/Chinese in Edinburgh than Scots and English put together
3. There are exactly the same number of cameras as Japanese/Chinese people
4. All hot taps have to run for at least 10 minutes before a trace of warmth appears
5. All taps are designed so that nothing happens for the first 3 turns, then the water suddenly gushes out at full force
6. Any beer containing the word "heavy" or "shilling" is an artificial luminous red colour
Today was First Aid training day, and I'm glad to say we all passed the stringent test, set by our ex-RAF, ramrod straight, shiny shoed tutor, Vince, wearing a pale pink shirt (too pale, in my view). To be fair, Vince was very engaging and amusing, and kept us wide awake all day (a feat in itself). To break things up, he regularly asked us whether we had personally suffered any of the many conditions he was describing: broken arms, pencils in eyes, dislocated shoulders, heart attacks. The best response to this question came from (naturally) Alex, who I introduced in the last blog. Here he is describing the time he fell and hurt himself. "Yeah, I was climbing a tree and fell out, and sort of, I should have been taken to hospital, but somehow I ended up in a Chinese massage parlour". This had everyone falling about laughing so much (you had to be there), that Lizzie, the course tutor, had to leave the room for several minutes to calm down. For the record, at this point 3 people also suffered cracked ribs with laughing, 2 were taken to hospital after over-dabbing their eyes, and 4 choked to death.
Stephan is from the Czech Republic, and supports Slavia Prague ("Slavia Prague iss crep", Czech fuutball iss crep" he says). He, unlike most of us, has some professional cheffing experience, albeit in a chain restaurant in Manchester ("Manchester iss crep"). He is here at the school to learn to cook properly. At the moment he can cook FAST. He had his leeks chopped faster than I could say Gordon F Ramsey. He must learn to slow down and put quality first, he says. I deeply insulted him by suggesting we might be able to watch the odd match together, and asked him if he liked beer. He gave me a a look of distain. "Off course I like beer, I am from Czech Republic. We haff best beer in vorld!" he shrugged. Nuff said.
Does this mean you are wearing your pink shirt?
ReplyDeleteYesterday's blog had me in stitches.
Have never posted a comment on a blog before despite advancing years so this is just a try to see what happens. (Its gillian by the way). I am enjoying hearing about Edinburgh and reading your recipes. I expect these to be come more and more sophisticated and difficult as the months go by so thanks for easing us in gently wih fried pizza (Frank, really). ... Have just clicked "post comment" and it is asking me for profile- dont know what to do now!!!
ReplyDeletehave now worked out what to do
ReplyDeleteClever girl Gillian! What Margaret said about yout IT skills obviously isn't true...
ReplyDeleteWendy, of course I have my pink shirt with me. You never know when it might come in handy (and I can wear it up here without getting laughed at - pink tartan... hmm... you don't see much of it...)